Thursday, July 29, 2004

Worth not repeating

Here is one ignoble award (for "scientific achievements" that "should
not be repeated").

This prize is awarded in two parts. First, to Patient X, formerly
of the US Marine Corps, valiant victim of a venomous bite from his
pet rattlesnake, for his determined use of electroshock therapy --
at his own insistence, automobile sparkplug wires were attached to
his lip, and the car engine revved to 3000 rpm for five minutes.
Second, to Dr. Richard C. Dart of the Rocky Mountain Poison Center
and Dr. Richard A. Gustafson of The University of Arizona Health
Sciences Center, for their well-grounded medical report: "Failure
of Electric Shock Treatment for Rattlesnake Envenomation."
[Published in "Annals of Emergency Medicine," vol. 20, no. 6, June
1991, pp. 659-61.]

Funny runners

(From an email, don't know the original source):

The best of the best
(Incident described in "From the Pavilion End" by Harold "Dickie" Bird)

"Bomber" Wells, a spin bowler and great character, played for Glocuestershire and Nottinghamshire. He used to bat at No.11 since one couldn't bat any lower. Of him, They used to paraphrase Compton's famous words describing and equally inept runner; "When he shouts 'YES' for a run, it is merely the basis for further negotiations!". Incidentally, Compton was no better. John Warr said, of Compton "He was the only person who would call you for a run and wish you luck at the same time." Anyway, when Wells played for Gloucs, he had an equally horrendous runner as the No.10. During a county match, horror of horrors.......both got injured. *Both* opted for runners when it was their turn to bat. Bomber played a ball on the off, called for a run, forgot he had a runner and ran himself. Ditto at the other end. In the melee, someone decided that a second run was on. Now we had *all four* running. Due to the confusion and constant shouts of YES, NO, eventually, *all* of them ran to the same end. Note - at this point in time, the entire ground is rolling on the floor laughing their behinds out. One of the fielders - brave lad - stops laughing for a minute, picks the ball and throws down the wicket at the other end. Umpire Alec Skelding looks very seriously at the four and calmly informs them "One of you buggers is out. I don't know which. *You* decide and inform the bloody scorers!".

Apples and oranges

First, the statement that something is like comparing apples and oranges is a kind of analogy itself